Marriage counseling, save my marriage

Now that you’ve said “I do” and the bride has been kissed what’s the next step? Couples spend a lot of time fine-tuning the details of the their ‘big day’ to make sure everything goes off without a hitch. They hire a wedding planner to take care of any issues that could possibly arrive. Now that we have planned the wedding, did we put anybody in charge of planning the marriage? Thank goodness for marriage counseling. As soon as one’s better half (or other half) brings up marriage counseling the other half gets tense. One spouse may feel like they’re being dragged into a stranger to have their problems aired. Marriage counseling is about saving the marriage, it’s not necessarily about who’s right and who is wrong. Sometimes you just need a neutral party to listen and help access your situation.

Surely the husband could talk to his friends and ask them “How can I save my marriage?” They will take his side, buy him a drink, solve his problems in a few minutes and discover what he already knew – he was right. And of course the wife could broach the subject with her friends. They will give her all the answers, all the options, pick apart each scenario that has taken place since the wedding day and in a few hours they will help her to realize that not only is she always right, but they are also. This is why we need marriage counseling.

A couple in distress needs to lay all their cards on the table in front of someone who is trained in the field and doesn’t have the pressure of worrying about hurting anyone’s feelings. The counselor is there to help fix the issue, not the people. Counseling sometimes gets a bad wrap because people think they are being counseled so they can be changed. Sometimes it’s just about having a person see the other side. Marriage counseling can open your mind so that you will have more empathy for your spouse. Furthermore, a marriage counselor knows what questions to ask to get to the root of what the problems actually are.

In the end any logical person should have take the attitude of “If this is what it takes to save my marriage, then sign me up,” realizing that they’re not the first couple to seek counseling and they will not be the last.